Where Have I Been?
This is a bit of a reluctant post because I hoped to sort everything out and then just return to music quickly but I feel like it’s maybe good to write about the reason I haven’t performed at all in the past year. At least for whoever reads this, who knows perhaps in the future when I’m in full flow with my music career this will be something interesting to look back on and more people will read it retrospectively.
So to the point, I’ve had a bunch of health problems that have affected my ability to perform music. The main condition I got is something called ‘Costochondritis’ which basically means my chest is stupid, ha. It’s where the sternum becomes inflamed, sore and can quite badly affect my breathing, making me light headed and feeling like I could collapse… so you can see how this might be an issue as a singer and performer. This happened somewhere in the middle of 2017 caused by a bad chest infection and me training some callisthenics stuff near that time, so it was really the perfect storm. I have barely mentioned this to anyone or about how much it affects me because I really hoped to heal fast and get back on track but if any of you have ever had a chronic or longer term injury, you’ll understand how sometimes things can’t be fixed so simply. (I also do a good job of disguising how bad I feel). I dabbled in a few open mics last year while struggling with my breathing and it was just a bit too challenging with only being able to breathe in 50% of the way so I decided to take a break. The whole situation is extremely frustrating because I would love to be performing and sharing my new abilities and songs from the past 1.5 years, I’ve still been writing and made some huge ground technically as a vocalist and guitarist in the moments that I have felt well enough to practice. So I hope eventually I will get to show this.
I am slowly getting better, but ‘slowly’ really is the word. I push myself hard physically with things like running and with my rehab exercises, which often doesn’t feel great but *insert line about there not always being an easy way*.
I have a few albums worth of material now, so I’ve been toying with the idea of releasing an album regardless of if I’m healthy enough to perform it immediately but I’ve got to get through the physio stuff first (blabla..). Keeping my morale and motivation during this time is a challenge as you can imagine, so I really don’t know what I will do in terms of music until I’ve fully recovered. A day at a time.
So yeah, hopefully I will be able to start performing again in the not too distant future. Or I’ll turn up at an open mic and see how it goes.
On a side note, I think it’s also worthwhile sharing this because we all present an idealistic image of our lives on social media and well… Things aren’t always ‘ideal’, sometimes things just suck. Even I have been releasing a few small music clips from my practice sessions and of course they aren’t revealing all of this other stuff going on behind the scenes. We all do it to different extents. So I hope me sharing my struggle maybe helps you in some way or at least shows you that probably more people than you would think are having their own battles.
Anyway, thanks for reading. I hope I can get back to doing what I love sooner than later.